I have met a disabled Indian Canadian lady since I started street preaching ministry at Brig house station in Richmond. from the beginning, I always gave her some changes when I had. later on, she started to be obsessive to call on me for her allowance from me. I talked to her about that I have no mandate to pay her daily living. She disagreed with me and continued a period of time to ask for her allowance. I learned that she was on disable welfare and has a boy-friend who is disabled as well. More importantly, she has a house.
I felt quite uncomfortable to continue helping her with my changes while she appeared to be a constant smoker. I told her that I would not give her money if she used for smoking. She pretended for a while not to smoke while I was on site. However, more often she called on her cell phones, and smoked from her own cigarette pack when her addiction came back. Then, I decided not to share my changes with her since last year. She was quite unhappy and shouted at me from time to time, "where is my allowance?" "I don't give you for smoking. You have welfare and should not continue to be professional beggar." She disagreed with me sharply. later on, she accused me and spoke against my preaching, called me bad guy with hateful message. I was very disappointed and angry with her. I asked, "is this all because I do not give you change, money-lover?" she starred at me and said, "you were hateful. Jesus loves us all." "Yes, Jesus loves us all, but he hates those hypocrites and those who love the world more than Him." "If you continued to insult me because my belief, please give me back all the money that I gave you." I did not know why I said so. But apparently she was shocked as no one might have asked to take back what they donated. she said, "No, I will not give them back to you." "why? I gave you when you asked. so when I asked, you shall give me back. I even did not ask for interest." She was speechless and shocked. properly she spread my unnormal demand to many other homeless people nearby. They started not to ask for my changes.
Last weekend, I was preaching there with nice outwears. apparently, something irritated her and she started to insult me and my message directly. I asked her not to oppose me and my message and stay peacefully. She refused to do so and continued to catch chances to attack me, even called my name several times as I purposefully tried to ignore her abusive attitude and language. "Please do not call my name and insult me. You have rights to speak, so do I. calling my name is a direct insult with your hateful language. " "You have a name. and You are hateful." My anger came back to me and I said to her, "Shame on you, you should not be a professional beggar when you have a welfare that is sufficient. if not, you shall not beg money for smoking. It is a shame to beg money for your smoking." "You are shameful to spread hateful language." I could not argue with her as she might be very ignorant like many others who have no knowledge or idea to discern what is a hateful language or loving language or religious language. I walked away from her. I regretted for having any conversations with her as they were bad and damaged my work there.
Forgive me, Father. And make me strong on the betrayers and insults. I will dismiss such attacks and focus on other ones whom you have your mind on. Forgive for my little love towards those rebels and hypocrites as my soul and heart tolerate their sins not. Thank You for providing me a work from your will and a life in your grace. Amen. Amen.
Called to serve, Called to stand, called to testify the Truth.